I think that Katie's right when she said I've been acting weird, or whatever and I have. I'm not sorry about it or anything, and now I know exactly why I've been acting so weird.

Do any of you remember a while ago when I said I was an attention_whore? Well, I realized that nobody pays attention to me no matter what I do, or whatever which sucks because when I know people want attention, I give it to them. I don't see why people constantly mess with me that way then... and then it gets worst... about a week ago, I was talking to one of my best friends, Dana, in my 5th period, and I was really mad and she was like "Your're beautiful, Alicia. Don't let anyone tell you different", and of course I was either being really modest or I just didn't believe her. So my other really good friend, RJ was explaining to us what beautiful means and then proceedd to tell me that I have what it takes, and I have all of the qualities of a beautiful person. So, I was about to believe them when this boy randomly came up to us after obviously eaves dropping on our conversation, and he told me that I'm NOT beautiful, and that he bets my parents had a good reason to do what they did and all this other shit that really hurt my feelings. (he was my friends ex...yah, one of those type)

So yah, ever since then I've thought that maybe people are just lying to me when they tell me I'm pretty or whatever (even though I know I shouldn't), and I'm starting to make myself feel bad. Like today, I was eating and I was thinking all sorts of things like, "You're so fat! Why do you keep eating sooo much!!?", and then I looked in my mirror, and I was like, "I'M SO HIDEOUS!! WHY ISN'T THIS THING CRACKING OR SOMETHING!?"

Whatever... I'm so pissed off. Bye. <3<3 Much Love, Leesha

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