I don't know if I updated my diary yesterday, but yah... whatever! here goes.

[in my head... Because the last thing that I need is somebody like you/to push me around and tell me what to do/I know theres a time and place where you can call the shots/but it't not here]

How are we doing today? So, I woke up at 5:25 this morning, and I felt really sick-ly so I took some medicine, and went back to sleep for another 7 hours. My mom had went out with my aunt, and they got back about 10 minutes after I woke up. I didn't even know she had left...

Someone told me something really disturbing last night, and I don't know how to deal with it because it used to be "my thing" to say I would never tell a single person, but tell someone but this is so much different. Whether I tell the person it involves or not, they are going to be severely hurt (their emotions...), and I just won't be able to live with the fact that I allowed something like this to happen.

They're giving us a shuttle bus for next week since school is starting 3 hours late. I have to leave pretty early, though in order to catch the bus. It's either going to be that, or I can see if Salib is going to school and catch a ride with him. That should be alot better anyways. Hey, for the most part I can type without looking... I mean, I look down every once in a while, but yah... I didn't know that I could do that.

My mom is saying that I should show up to take the HSA for english 9, and geometry and see if I have to take the tests rather than waiting until my senior year and waiting for them to tell me that I need to take those dumb tests. I don't feel like waking up at the regualr time, though, just to take a 3 hour test or get to the school and they tell me to go in the cafeteria for study hall because they don't need me there. I don't want it to be a waste of my time.

I haven't talked to Brandon in a few days, and prt of me cares but there's another part of me that thinks that it's almost as if the 2 of us aren't going out anyways. To be totally honest, I love a lot of people that are only my friends, and while I don't think it'd be possible for me to live without him, I think that feeling is something that I don't feel all the way and that it will come to me sooner or later but for now, it's not necessary an all I'm doing is holding myself back from s much because "I have a boyfriend." I don't flirt with guys and half the time I don't even hug my guy friends because I think that I'll begin to get that "cheating mentality" which is something I've never had to deal with, personally. I'm just so pressured right now... I don't know.

Gotta go for now, sweeties. I wrote about a third of this without looking at what I was doing. Aren't you proud of me? I know that I am. Bye-a! <3 <3 Leesha

Last Five Entries

FAREWELL DIARYLAND2003-06-26

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reflection on my year...2003-06-20

hiatus again.2003-06-15