I was talking to Katie on the phone about random shit, and then the phone beeped and it was BRANDON. I hung up with Katie, and I was talking to him... I think I was being a bitch at first. I was like, "So...why'd you call me?" (He wasn't saying anything!! I wanted to know why the hell he was wasting my time) Yah, but I was really pissed off at that point, and I was laughing. It was weird… I think that’s my defense mechanism. Anyways, we eventually started talking and it was so obvious that we were both mad at each other, but we were in denial. He started off like, “Well, I’m over it. I’m not mad anymore”, but whenever he’d bring up that I didn’t want to go to the movies with him or something, he’d get really upset. It was a really good conversation. I feel like shit now because I didn’t want to go with him, but then again, I haven’t been able to spend time alone at home for the longest. I just wanted today to be peaceful.

I think he told me he’d call me back, but he never did… I think that maybe, he asked me to call him back then. Either way, nobody has called anybody. I couldn’t believe he called me. I half wanted to not talk to him so I wouldn’t have to deal with my anger, and I half wanted him to just come out and say he was mad at me, and explode over the phone. I got so emotional the other with crying myself to sleep, and being a prick at school and shit. Apparently, he was equally as mad in school! I thought that was so funny because you never really think about how what you do affects other people. I was being really self-centered.

Today is my older sisters birthday. Yep, she turned 19 today. That was random…

Ami helped me out a lot when it came to Brandon and I because I probably would’ve just broke up with him if I were allowed to wallow in my own anger for a whole day. Thank goodness for school! :) Apparently, she and her boyfriend weren’t seeing eye to eye a few days ago, and he wrote her this really touching email. It made me look at everything in perspective… it was very lovely, and so I decided to do the right thing and wait to talk to him about it. We actually both thought the other was being weird and insensitive… I think it’s so weird that we were thinking the same way and doing the same things the whole time. We’re more meant to be than we know!

Screw the movies… I want to go ride a Ferris wheel with him instead!

Alright, thanks for your time. I hope you check out my about me page… I worked really hard to find 100+ things about me. Lol, bye everyone!

Much Love, <3 Leesha

Last Five Entries

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reflection on my year...2003-06-20

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