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2003-05-10 : 8:26 p.m. <- had to ge this out... don't get mad at me. ->
Yah, I wrote this entry earlier and I don't even know what happened but it got erased. So, here goes nothing… (This is partially off the top of my head)
I’m a loser, but it’s not because I listen to Backstreet boys, or N*Sync… I’m not a loser because I still know the names to almost all of the Pokemon, and watch MTV 24-7. No, I’m a loser because no mater what people do or say to me, I always let them walk all over me. I’m a loser because I don’t give people a piece of my mind whenever they upset me, and I’d rather avoid them or just laugh it off rather than let them know what they’ve done to me. Well, there are so many things I need to get off of my chest, and I need to give a few people a piece of my mind and let them know exactly how I feel. First of all, I don’t really like the food my mom makes, and if there isn’t hot dogs or cereal available for me to eat, for the most part, I don’t eat at home. I’d feel a lot better if you didn’t eat shit off of my tray. The least you can do is ask, but I'm sure you eat when you get home, and well… I DON’T! I think what you need to do is wait to get home if you don’t have food to eat. Its not my problem that you have no money because I don’t have any money either since my mom doesn’t trust me with money so she puts money on my account and wont even let me put it on there myself. I now that every last one of you have parents with well paying jobs who can give you money whenever you want it, but I really don’t an I’d appreciate it if you’d let me have my little bit of lunch to myself because it’s the only food I have all day except for whatever one of my friends offers to give me. Second, I don’t mean to offend anybody by hanging out with certain people or anything. I just hang out with whoever I'm into at the moment and right now, since the play and everything, I’ve been hanging out with the techies. I noticed that ever since I’ve been hanging with the techies all of my friends think I don’t hang out with them enough, and before the techies thought I didn’t hang with them enough. I CANT PLEASE EVERYONE AT THE SAME TIME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO SO BE PATIENT WITH ME! This is not to one person in particular, btw, there are 3 people who say I used to hang out with or talk to them more before I started hanging out with the techies. (I'm not mentioning any names) Can’t you all be happy that I’ve found a group of friends I really ca relate to rather than being mad because I don’t talk to you enough? I’d really appreciate it… Lastly, I’m naturally meek, and I’ve always been into my schoolwork. I think this IS aimed at someone in specific, but I will name no names… Anyways, I’m not going to be open about anything to my friends… only my boyfriend. That’s not to say that I will lie about everything, but I won’t be open to just say what’s on my mind, or where I want to go or whatever. Also, I hate to feel like there is someone out there that’s better than me, so I always strive to be the best. There are people that would like to be valedictorian, but they wouldn’t expect it only I want to be valedictorian, and I'm fighting for it! I’m sorry if I brag about my grades, and I make you look dumb or whatever because I don’t mean to. The thing is, everyone is capable of making good grades but only a few people apply themselves, and I'm one of those few. I'm not going to stop congratulating my scholastic achievement (patting myself on the back) for anyone. I’m sorry if that makes you mad, but it makes me happy to get good grades (STRAIGHT A’S, MAN!!) so it’s just something we’ll all have to deal with. You more so than me… Thanks everyone… don’t take offense to this, it’s just shit that’s been on my mind forever. Love you all much, Leesha
FAREWELL DIARYLAND2003-06-26 good question...2003-06-23 good days2003-06-22 reflection on my year...2003-06-20 hiatus again.2003-06-15 |